This is just for a shoot. was helping one of my friend for her portfolio.
when we are still a kid, we want to grow old faster. but.. when we are older, we hope that we are still young and worry free.
i started to wonder, if i never ever think of stepping into night life, how would my life be? now it seems to be all screwed up. terribly screwed up.
there's so many what ifs.
regreted stepping into such a complicated life. cause, i am starting to feel that im losing myself. being in this industry brings me so much experience that sometimes i would start to wonder is it that necessary.
and dont look at me as though i'm only saying. i meant it. seriously, stopping weekends already. i started working weekends due to central. from just friday. to both fri and sat at times. think back. i could have sleep more. and actually i don't know why did i start working week end last month. zzz -______-;;
i wonder if i had a chance to choose again would i still walk this path.
sometimes i look at my photos and realized no matter how happy i smile or laugh my eyes ain't looking happy at all. it's too fake.
i feel that sometimes im just like a clown trying to make everyone happy but yet, me myself is not happy at all.
tons of people have been saying im too naive. but seriously, am i? i don't think so. urghs. haven't been sleeping since yesterday. feeling way exhausted. yet way down. this weather is too sucky. i cant really sleep.
