‚ô• Monday, January 24, 2011
i had this dream,
this dream that woke me up...
he was so near...
so near...
that i could feel his warmth.
in that dream, he was telling me not to do all those stuff anymore. giving me a super sad face. i remembered in that dream i hugged him i told him some stuff and that i wouldn't anymore, and then i woke up..
last night. a kitten came into my home
again. my dad got so pissed off and knock on my door to wake me up. it was 11pm when he woke me up. i was feeling unwell and had already fall asleep.
that kitten was whining to my dad when he place him at the gate and ask him out. it's was terrible it last for 30mins or longer. and the whining was jus so loud that, i had a hard time trying to get back to sleep//
flipping thru the old albums at home. alot of photos was cut and tore off by my mum. for god knows what reason. WTH. most of it was pic contain my sis. some was mine. gah. cus i saw a pic i once like so much was gone. GONE! WTH!!
will you reach out your hands from the heaven and give your lil sis a hug?
will you?
Labels: my mother is a bitch., S, sis
Blogged @ 8:41:00 PM
‚ô• Thursday, December 09, 2010
Ever thought of how death would be like?
I dreamt of it. just last night. it's harsh and cold.
it just relate to me in every way im feeling.
maybe, death is holding me.
sometimes it just hit me hard, real hard.
wondering why did she have to choose to leave.
why didn't she brought me along?
so we could be together,
and we might be smiling without worries or sadness.
now i have to face this all alone.
carrying both her's and mine.
They said 'Things would pass eventually, those emotions are just temporary.'
but.. They could never know how exactly i felt.
who had seen me really cried hardly?
to judge how easily i could feel hurt and sad.
to tell me all that?
If i were to describe life in a word, it'd be the word fake
what humans concern is just their own needs.
It's so fake that, actually death started to sound great and promising.
life, as usual, is cruel.
even the word believe actually has lies within.
everlasting, is only when death came.
isn't death so much better?
It started to hit me hard,
what's my purpose here. in life.
Tomorrow would be his birthday eve already.
It would also be a year since i've known him.
I know, i wouldn't see him.
Just the thought of it makes me even sadder.
Labels: petrify tots, randoms, S, sis
Blogged @ 12:24:00 PM
