I started to wonder how would it be like if we were still together.
How things would have been.
It just kinda scares me when i thought of it.
Someday, maybe one of us will regret how things turn out to be how it wad then.
Maybe, i would regret to have gave in to build the ego in you.
Maybe..maybe...
How i hope i wouldn't have thought of you. Not even a little.
Yesterday, yx and i met up right after my work to train up for the run which is coming in... Say, 2 wks?
I almost fainted once i stop running on the track mile machine. I guess i was so dehydrated as first time ever in my life, i saw my face were as red as tomatoes. Arms as well. Kinda freak me out.
Even after such an intense run, as it had been quite long since i ran again. We ate like no body business. Which is really quite bad.
We had tea, which included tart, cake, pudding and a loaf of garlic bread.
Holy crap and we finished all. And headed to went to twg to see some stuff anf headed to dinner, which we had cookie, egg omelet, stingray, sotong. I almost dir after eating.
We headed to the movies. Thinking it was a suspense show. It ended up with a horror and bloody movie. Both of us stare at each other in shock.
Seriously, im fine with just horror. But i couldnt take blood. And the show is just as bloody. Since its about a blood devour monster or sth.
I totally feel nauseous after the whole movie. But the movie is great. After so long, finally sth decent. Thailand without fail produces the best horror movie. (::
Alright. Lets hope i can finish the card while wrking this wk. cause my keyboard is spoil i cant use my lappy to do it.
Back to using vis phone. And first thing i switch on. I saw e amt of whatsapp. But before i cld read them i gotta verify and everything just.... Gone. Even thought its gone like the wind without any trace... But i manage to see the txt msg u sent.
BECAUSE...
It will break down without you knowing!
Someone recently made me worry for nut. And scare the shit out of me. Thinking he might have some illness, which leads him to take a blood test and all.
So, end of the day.. it's just his weighting scale is playing a joke on him.
was woken up by a particular birthday wish. due to my long sms tone.
which made me thinking why is he acting like this.
as everything now seems kinda bullshit.
he said, his feeling faded.
he said to break.
he said, there no one else involve.
he said, he left and i still could go back to wrk the nightlife job he detest.
he said, he had to give me allowance time for me/him to move on.
he said, he tried to move on. but couldn't.
he said, he think, we have done so much for each other therefore it seems like we can't move on.
he said, i blamed him for all the above. (this which i partly agree.)
all these which he said....
i seen then otherwise.
i don't know what to even feel or rather i no longer could feel any joy nor bitterness. feels so much like a mannequin now.
i don't know if it's that i look stupid to him or what, that why he came back telling me he can't move on.
i saw,
the text
the tweets,
the photos,
the blog
after that very blog i saw, i stop looking at every thing that relates to him other then tweets. these are all those which shows the opposite of those he said.
convocation is just in 3 days time. Last year he was there. this year, he no longer could be there. it's kinda ironic that i always dreamt that he will there with me throughout.. sulk*
there's really too much stuff that is making my lappy lagging. so i took a look at unwanted school stuff and such as research images that i will not be needing it anymore... i actually found photos.
this kitty actually came to my place with the another kitty. and i've never liked cats, don't get me wrong but i'm just really afraid of them.
this are the two that came over to my place. -.-
i dont know what went wrong with me. but i know that im no longer the same. i changed. and i think it's to the worst. looking at my make up, my dress sense, blablabla. i srsly not sure what went wrong with me -.- by the way, these photos are taken way back in 2010.
been long since i met up with meow. (feels as though we meet only once a yr. jus like me and shuan.) so we had set a day to meet and he came down to fetch me which i didn't expected it actually. and i was so pissed off with how the interview went on thurs. i mean, don't waste my time, give me the raw files and things could be just done in max of an hour.
forget it. ranted enough.
so, we headed to watch Ted, wasn't as awesome as i thought it would be.
it's just a coincident that im on some orange bike again. :(
nostalgic. as the wind brushed past. trying not to lose control over my emotions.
it seems that ever since ________ incident, i change to someone even i myself dont know.
feeling really tired.
been avoiding the thoughts of him floating thru my mind. and i been doing well till last week.
feeling hurt all again.
was so drunk on sat. and i cant remember how or when. i remember calling jason. cause before that i was texting with him. i cant remember did i go hm myself or did sophia send me home. -____________-"
and i fall aslp at my corridor just next to the lift. till jason came and find me. this is damn bad. and i cried like dunno what when i saw him. -.-" i think he was so shock that he dunno what to do also. then funny is. i cry finish i went hm and slp he was like -.-???
why am i so scary. ):
i dont feel happy and ive already forgotten what's being happy felt like.
i wasnt this way in the past. what have i become?
i just feel like drinking everyday. ): it just really bring back every little memories.
This is one of the projs we are doing. and i brought maps... and stuff. which was collected from the past... of me and him.
do you still remember them?
i guess not?
----------
SIS & I (::
---------------
((((；ﾟДﾟ)))))))
Was asked to go hollywood just because my frien wanna support this thai girl.. But wth im busy seriously. with my essay and stuff and i got so pissed off when ppl step over my head esp when i really cannt make it. Zzz i could tell he is pissed off. But wth man im pissed off as well. Like seriously?! Why shuld i even go in the first place. //
Its like hello?!?! Im not a guy therefore no people would entertain me. i go there sit there self entertain myslf. Then again, i go hm myslf. And stuff. Which person on the right mind with so much assignments on hand would wan to go? Esp im not taking diploma. This is degree man. Not a joke.//
SO I GUESS,
this is the last photo from last mon i dragged my feet out even when im so exhausted sick and with my eye swollen. USED PATRICK NAME ONCE. saying I GO OUT WITH P always but he ask me i give excuse?! wtf seriously. i dont like hollywood. maybe it's else where i might still be going so willingly.
and i am seriously pissed off alr.
give me a reason to not an excuse telling myself to go.//
YOU. YOU. AND YOU. thats it. GOOD BYE i don't need such friends.
went to bottle tree park with Pat and his friends, is boring like shit and i fall asleep in the van. naise. woke up feeling abit reluctant to go rcd alr. but i drag my feets cause it have been so long since i go out. haven't head to town for ages let alone watch movies. ):
RCD was cold like mad. i swear i shivered. waited for belle since like 2 am. and she finally called at 4. and came and join us. we wanted to head to td1. but they are closed. ended we went resort. drink like one camer cause pat friend past a 1/3 tower -.-"
and i paster everyone to eat the egg at 7/11 (the wants sheena loves) but sadly out of stock. sooo sad. urghs.
then, since it was early already. i told them... LET'S WATCH SUN RISE! =/ i think everyone was like thinking im kidding... but im not. im dead serious.
this photo looks abit similar to the want he took it years back (just that this does not look like sun rise at all.) which is on the side of my scroller photo of people i love..
This song came straight to my mind when we are waiting for the sun rise.. ):
ter yang mee jai hai chan kon dieow yang ror chan kae kon dieow
Are you still faithful to only me? Still waiting for only me?
เธอ ยังคง เป็น เหมือนเดิม อยู่ ใช่ไหม
ter yang kong bpen meuan derm yoo chai mai
You’re still the same person as before, right?
ช่วย บอก ให้รู้ ที
chuay bok hai roo tee
Please let me know
ฉัน กลัว ใคร ทำให้ เธอ นั้น เปลี่ยนไป
chan glua krai tam hai ter nan bplian bpai
I’m afraid someone is going to change you
ฉัน กลัว สิ่ง ที่ ไม่ แน่นอน มากมาย
chan glua sing tee mai nae non maak maai
I’m afraid of so many uncertain things
(Earlier on when we are still at RCD, this song was sung and i actually videoed a part of it and send to my friend cause he likes this song and im doing it on purpose. cause i dont like bringing guys when i go drinking unless they already know each other. already did one stuns the other time. i dowan to do another stun. so i didn't bother to ask.)
ECP mac
likey this parrot alot. and i was so scared that he would prick on my face cause this is a self take photo.
PHOTO OF THE DAY!!!
HAHHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
i think she will kill me.
drop my phone in the cab and i only realised once i reach home. cause i brought the itouch out and i tot it was my phone when i feel it. Panic when i realized phone is not with me. took my lappy and search the location. -.-" immediately i tried searching for a hm phone to call pat. BUT. that guy... didn't pick up nor saw FB messages and text. -.-"so i headed to report lost and stuff. while thinking what to do.
when ziling saw my status and comment on fb. i called her. guess whats her reaction. OK i pei u go search. OMG mega love her lor. i went to cab to her place to fetch her without a phone. and we actually... found it stopping at simei green for quite some time. and then... POOOFFF! expo.
i was still telling her hopefully we could find the phone and then find isabelle. HAHAHAHA! but when it appear at expo we forget about it. end of it. my phone was with isabelle cause the uncle manage to see the message and call isabelle. while belle tried calling my hm so hard. =/ and zl n i was out running like mad to find my phone. GAH!
major loveeee belle when she told me my phone was with her after i call her telling me wad pat and jason had told me when i went to get a new simcard thinking it's forever missing and i need to be contactable. since it's not holiday now... HAHA! ((: and lucky me. i almost. really almost get a new phone on impulse. -.-" and almost really wanna go back wrk everyday. just to get my phone. but since i got back my phone. don't need to think about it liaoo!
YAY!
belle & ziling if you two see this, i wanna tell you two. I LOVE YOU TWO MAX!! ❤ ❤ ❤
chest pains are back and it's really terrible. Took the previous pain killers doc prescribed to me. first thing i woke up, look at my lappy and the time shown me Fri 12:25AM i jumped up right from the start cause, slept on thurs... -.-"
before i slept i charged my cam batt, cause i felt like taking some photos. but it was too late when i woke up.. so i took the dan-board he gave me for my birthday last yr.. and took photos. was on the line with sophia and she was like "what? take photos at such hour?"
HA!
i think i have a thing for still life.
will go to get a refer to seriously do a check up on my bloody chest. ):
actually intended to put the box of cookies at his bike before he actually end work. but i changed my mind.
since yest i was a total shagged max already cus went drinking with yb and his friends. ziling and i started with a bucket of henidiken at white bar then yb actually came down and join us and we finished it and headed to PP. that zl went off way too early. gah! finished the btl and we swapped to hollywood. and i swear i really dislike seeing that fatty. i still rem the very first and last time i saw him was when i was working under eileen.
VALENTINES DAY_ sucks big time.
aiai and i kissed yest -.-" again first v day kiss goes to her. lmaoooo.
us_))
and remember never drink with someone who is tired cause end of the day, you will become a pillow out of the blue moon.
-______-"
THIS IS WHAT HAPPEN! zzz!
im too tired and i slept for the whole day. rejected all those who asked me out. and luckily i rejected. -.-"
ended up, i got so hungry and edwin is in school which is rather near to cck since he stay amk, so i asked him if he wanna eat. =D and finally we met after so long, the very last time i met him was 2 yrs back at sentosa.
HELLO, happy 4 yrs anniversary knowing each other.
Very randomly, went to challenger with yt on wed. And randomly, got myself a new thumb-drive for no reason. Was eyeing on a pure white wan but i ended up not buying cause my friend actually took a td for me for free. Oh well ... :P time to back up my hdd and format it. -.-
(:
Valentines day is coming. and i dread that day. ):
although i cant help myself for having stupid thoughts of still doing stuff for him. (which actually i told sophia and she say im keesiao) and that no one would do such things anymore for him if they were me. so... oh well. -.-" idk.
we intended to make a jar of hearts.
sweet?
and maybe i'll just emo one corner and EAT 'EM all up!
