‚ô• Sunday, December 12, 2010
Do you still remember the purpose of doing sth?
be it what ever thing.
will you still remember the purpose?
Everyone will forget.
that include you.
alot of stuff, i could still remember clearly as though it just happened yesterday.
the words that we shared. those text messages. phone calls.
i hate to admit this, but i remember them all, so clearly.
Who says people are worth the second chance? that's just a saying. nth, nth will be given a second chance. When people realized their mistake it's always too late. who is going to give them a chance? Remember the Yellow ribbons? nah. that's just for show.
am going to self destruct. again.
This pain ain't going off. just like how my knee hurts, my heart hurts as well. it hurts more then my knee. remembering, the amount of blood i saw yesterday on my knee was horrid, my heart hasn't stop bleeding not at all. it is starting to scare me now.
second time. this is the second time.
you used to say, i don't trust you. but likewise, you never believed me.
there's actually so much stuff that you had already long forgotten.
how i actually hope im having your brain instead. so i wouldn't remember.
love? it's jus a toy.
sex? a pleasure.
kids? people says it's symbol of love? nah. i think it's the worst nightmare.
Just pass him those metal eggs, i tried doing and the image i cut out bit by bit shadow by shadow. those contained my blood, my tears, everything. i cut myslf accidentally due to the tears that keep coming out when i was cutting the shades of our face. if, this, doesn't show how much, or rather how deep my feelings are, then im sorry for not expressing it out.
passed him the couple angel as well. cause i no longer need it. it's suppose to be a pair like the mickey and minnie, but.. sadly, i don't want to separate the pair, so i gave him both. those are done. during the period where i should be rushing my school work. I do not want to take any credits for it. but. because, people had been saying that. He has done alot. given alot, scarifies alot of time, blablabla. yes he had, but it doesn't mean, i did not do anything at all actually there's more stuff. it's just that. they are awful that i threw them off.
The tie dan. that i used one entired day to make. cus it need constant reboiling. and i started at 7am, ended at 8pm.
passed him the helmet zz bought for me years back. alot of memories in it as well. but fuck all those memories. i don't wan remember anymore things. i realized those who remember stuff hurts more then those who couldn't remember stuff
This was even worst, drawn the day before assessment while i should be rushing my finals with Samantha in school on a sunday night.
i have never once regretted so much stuff once in my life. so much that my tears wouldn't stop falling. now, that's the only way i would fall asleep. There's really so much that i wanted to say. but. i no longer could say them out.
sometimes, i hope im dead.
Labels: petrify tots, S, zz
Blogged @ 7:00:00 AM
‚ô• Thursday, December 09, 2010
Ever thought of how death would be like?
I dreamt of it. just last night. it's harsh and cold.
it just relate to me in every way im feeling.
maybe, death is holding me.
sometimes it just hit me hard, real hard.
wondering why did she have to choose to leave.
why didn't she brought me along?
so we could be together,
and we might be smiling without worries or sadness.
now i have to face this all alone.
carrying both her's and mine.
They said 'Things would pass eventually, those emotions are just temporary.'
but.. They could never know how exactly i felt.
who had seen me really cried hardly?
to judge how easily i could feel hurt and sad.
to tell me all that?
If i were to describe life in a word, it'd be the word fake
what humans concern is just their own needs.
It's so fake that, actually death started to sound great and promising.
life, as usual, is cruel.
even the word believe actually has lies within.
everlasting, is only when death came.
isn't death so much better?
It started to hit me hard,
what's my purpose here. in life.
Tomorrow would be his birthday eve already.
It would also be a year since i've known him.
I know, i wouldn't see him.
Just the thought of it makes me even sadder.
Labels: petrify tots, randoms, S, sis
Blogged @ 12:24:00 PM
