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‚ô• Friday, December 30, 2011
end of year is here once again. left 1 more day..
again im still having heartbreaks.
still wondering how long would everything heal and till everything fade. tired so much ways but still end up, the feelings are just there. I, don't want to end up like B.
many said as times goes, things would fade maybe to everyone which including him, but to me, i think, it just make sink in deeper. started to think of him more then usual. we didn't stay in contact like how we did last year, cause, i felt that there's nothing more for us to talk to. i guess, he agrees in a manner therefore, there's no more text. at times, i would look at my phone hoping that it's him, but none came. ):
i feel that wins has made me feel that he's abit of psychotic and i dare not tell him... the way he speaks is as though everything he think was right. nothing wrong. he judge as if he knows entirely about my family. he thinks he see thru the thoughts of almost everyone.. sometimes, i think, he think too much that lead him this way cause, i've been thru and listen to him of his sorrow for years. recently, whenever he speaks to me, i would even try to avoid as much as possible even i know that he might still stay in contact with S.
it's sometimes pretty scary when you feel like slitting yourself wanting that pain to numb yourself.. i ended up biting my finger joints like the past.
at times, i hope, tomorrow i ain't going to spent it in singapore. how i hope i'm elsewhere, so i know i couldn't do anything even if i miss him. but knowing i cant do anything even when we are an hour in distant feels awful. really. that kinda feeling is worst then last few years i had. it's like wanting to reach for something that you can never do it.
still thinking about what the f.teller words.. Idk.. You can't just get everything you want in life. Some stuff you just cant you have no choice isnt it? ):
i think most people are still in a shock now. considering the fact they though i would never have done it that way. but.. i have no choice like i said with my situation at that period of time.
now, everything is over.
i think headache has been getting worst. and i think i am almost finishing up the panadols that i bought in genting that day. 12 tab how can one person finish in just 4 days. took quite a few tab of panadol during the trip without letting him notice. cause my head really hurts.
i think wins must be still in a shock from what i've told him. cause he didn't reply my message yet. my ai ai is oso shock with me and she says im walking her old footstep. i admit im.
screw my life hard.
it was never right from the start.
suddenly, i felt my life is full of beautiful and wonderful people and things that had been sparkling throughout. (:
out of the blue, di called me to talk. was real surprise. recently, things had been wonderful. real wonderful that i hope things will never change =D and stay this way. (::
jie had been there for me which give me loads of comfort. ^^, di and i have plans for "getaway" Sophia, again was there to crap with me Carrot as well, totally horrible talking to him. Alex, he was so sweet to bring me out for supper and it turn out everything was a joke. =X winston, was there to distract me with his probs. =.=" HAHAHA kalson was there to... um.. tell me he was born in the jungle like tarzen. HAHAHA!
ok. gugu i misses u.
okay just with them, life is wonderful and great.
ok. now i jus hope, my fcuking mum jus disappear this moment. am extremely angry about it right now. it'd be more wonderful i suppose. when i would never have any fear that, my fav or sth i adore get cut away and become a new creation of hers! am so sick of all this nonsense. she've been giving me. so sick of it. get lost.
had been quite unlucky recently. fcuk. fri i was bit by regina which left me a huge bum on my left shoulder near neck. sigh then another which bleed was on my body. when i bite tootie after she bite me, she jus bite on my body!! T.T sobs. it jus bleed. ): look like some vampie bite. horrible.
The bite mark
the part of my body that it bleed.T.T
followed by yesterday, i was burn by exhaust pipe. on my left leg when i was about to get up. to went bowl. then after bowl, went timah to eat, i was burn on my right again after i get down!! ): both leg burn! ugly path of it now!! ): look like minnie mouse dress!! shits. and since thurs my phone had some problem, i couldn't hear anything on my phone ):!! sighs. winst0n, thank you for yesterday (::
